The Curious Case of Benjamin Ball

Winston was excited to meet his newest little buddy yesterday, Benjamin Ball. Dan's sister Laura had him early that morning and he is cute as can be with a head full of dark dark hair. I'd forgotten how tiny new little babies are, it is so hard to imagine Winston was ever that small. Congrats to Laura and Brad we are excited to get to know little Ben and have another friend for Winston.

Just to dispel any rumors

We are quite happy with the child we have and are not seeking another baby any time soon, I think I liked Molly's comment the best:

"and a new baby sister?? amateurs... is that the only think they think you know how to do?"

But thanks for all the phone calls and emails anyway. I'm not giving any hints just yet, but it is going to be delightful!

p.s. Don't you just love Spring? 

stay tuned

Exciting new things are happening here, and you don't want to miss it! Let's just say I have been a busy little bee getting everything ready for the big debut! 

p.s. Isn't this radio bike awesome? 

reincarnation

There are lots of things I strongly believe in; reading to your children, eating your vegetables, and restoring furniture. I love finding old pieces and breathing new life into them. If you know me well then you know I can take on way too many of these projects. when we moved to San Deigo I started collecting like a magpie and I was so excited about some of my finds. Most of the stuff we ended up selling (including the dining set) but I wanted to share my two favorite projects. We brought the grey dresser home and I can't tell you how much I love it! These pictures are awful, but they are all I have.Here is the dresser before (excuse the mess):

and after:

I scored this faux bamboo dining set on craigslist for only $40. 

The caning was in perfect condition. Before:

After:

Don't worry, I'm already taking on way too many projects again.

I guess this is a lesson I will never learn.

my boys = love

One of our last days in La Jolla we spent at our favorite beach. It is really one of the most beautiful places I have ever been and on cloudy days like this rarely crowded. Dan and Winston were playing and my camera and I tagged along.

Happiness is a handful of gumballs

I spotted this at a thrift store a couple months back. She was sitting on the shelf screaming, "take me home, I belong to you!" So without objection I did just that. She is the friendly kind of gumball machine, the kind that doesn't require pennies, just the turn of the wrist. Perhaps the thing I love about her best of all is how she reminds me of childhood. She is sitting on our bookshelf now and every time I catch a glimpse the her rainbow it makes me smile.

there's no place like home

I guess the great thing about "Home" is that is never changes. However, this is leaving me feeling a little like Dorothy when she wakes up from her dream and is trying to tell everyone about Oz. We've only been back in Salt Lake for two weeks and I already feel like our experiences living away we're just a dream and that they never really even happened. Don't get me wrong, It is wonderful to have so many family in friends here, it is wonderful to have a life, and friends to be able to jump right into, but it just feels a little weird to be here, to be Home. It is weird to run into people I know pretty much everywhere,  and weird to have people around me that have known me all my life. 

I guess the strangest thing for me is how quickly all the memories and feeling from my old life are fading away. Why does this happen? Sometimes I think it must be your memory's way of helping you move on, helping you move forward. I feel like now that we are here life is speeding ahead a million miles an hour, but I keep looking back to see if I can still see where we've been. 

image via

sentimental

With all the moving we've been doing lately I have had a plenty of opportunities to go through my belongings and assess all the junk and treasures I have, although sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. One of the items I stumbled across the other week while unpacking just might be one of my most precious belongings. 

This copy of Etiquette by Miss Emily Post herself belonged to my grandmother Wilma, or Gammy as we called her. She took etiquette very seriously and as a I child I remember her also hosting and going to "luncheons" with her friends. My Grandmother was that kind of lady, she didn't just go to lunch, she had "luncheons". I am sure this copy of Emily Post got lots of use throughout the years and I love flipping through it and imaging my grandmother doing the same. But my favorite thing about this book has to be the smell. My Gammy's basement had the smell of old things, old leather chairs, old books, and old wooden toys. I just inhaling the scent of these pages makes me feel like a three year old playing with vintage barbies in my Gammy's basement once again. I miss her terribly, but at least I have a treasure like this to remember her by. 

I will have to tell you about her penmanship another time, that deserves a post all of it's own.

Things to love this week

We're here, and happy to be here. Thanks to everyone who left such kind comments and sent sweet emails after my last post. It helps to realize what wonderful friends we have and that you are thinking of us. Leaving California was hard, but we've been so busy since we arrived in Utah that we haven't really had too much time to think about it. It is great to be home with our families and home=happy, at least most of the time. 

On that happy note, here are some things I am loving this week:

Freshly fallen snow=a reason to break out my wellies

Cafe Rio

Thrift store gems

Gluten free pretzels

Tree lined streets of Harvard-Yale

Winston's silly giggle's

Jill's post about her mother's amazing quilt

Inchmark's similar post

this darling (and modest) swimsuit

The Wasatch mountains

my bags are packed, but I'm not ready to go

I've struggled for weeks now to know what to say and how to say it, and even as I'm typing I have a lump in my throat. This week was a sad week for us, it was our last week in San Diego. As many of you know, Dan was unexpectedly laid off from his job with Merrill Lynch a few weeks ago. It was quite a blow considering how much effort went in to our move here which we had anticipated and planned to be a long term thing, and now only lasted a few months. We were in San Diego just long enough to discover we really love it here, long enough to make it hard to leave. Needless to say life doesn't always go according to plan and although we've worked relentlessly the last few weeks in the job hunt, we find ourselves empty handed. We've had marvelous contacts and generous people who went to bat for us, but unless you've been living under the rock the last year, you know that the job market, especially in the financial world, is dismal these days. As much as we wanted to stay in California, I guess it wasn't meant to be. 

Of course we are sad, disappointed, frustrated, and scared. These feelings come naturally and easily in times and situations as these. It has been hard, and the future remains uncertain.

So now we are here at the crossroads, a crossroads that has come much to quickly and leads us ambivalently down a new path. We'll be headed back home to Utah tomorrow to live with our family until all this gets sorted out and Dan finds a new job-which will hopefully be soon. These last weeks have been perhaps the most emotionally challenging of my life. I've felt a nauseous all day today as the reality of all this really sunk in, yet I have continually reminded myself there are many situations we could be in that I wouldn't trade these current circumstances for. I keep telling myself, at least there is a solution to our problem, and once it comes-life will go on as usual and I won't have to live with the worry I now have day in and day out. Things could be worse, and I have so much to be grateful for.

These last few weeks have taught me so much about what is really important and have been an interesting opportunity to realize what I want for our family, and what we really need in life to be happy. At the end of the day the recipe for happiness is so simple, yet it eludes so many of us. I just want to take this opportunity to thank our families, friends old+new (who have been so amazing through all of this), and my Heavenly Father. We've already been blessed profoundly through this and I know someday I will look back and see how much we grew as a family because of this experience.

But right now is not someday. Right now is hard. Right now is filled with an aching heart, and moving boxes (not again)! Right now means giving up on a life we thought we were starting here. Right now means mourning a lost opportunity, and right now means preparing to move home. I'm trying not to let these sad moments sneak up on me, but in between the happiness that comes from a joyful new baby who is smiling and giggling at you constantly, having time to spend with the ones you love, and trying to enjoy the beach and beautiful San Diego as much as we can before we leave, the ugly moments often do. 

I tell you this not to elicit sympathy, or words of hope, but to share with you one of the most important things I have learned through all this; It is okay, when life is not perfect. In fact, most of life is not perfect, and it rarely turns out as you'd planned. I'm usually all to guilty of working hard to make sure everything is the the way it is supposed to be. But the truth is, this whole operation is far too much work, and makes it even harder when you find yourself in circumstances that weren't supposed to be, like we are in now. If you don't believe me, then read this. It's hard for me to let people in when I can't put on a happy face, but I'm learning that's okay, and sharing my worries make them easier to bear. I'm learning that I am never alone. 

So friends, family, and all you lurking in the anonymity of cyberspace, thanks for being there to help me take this scary next step, and taking it with me. Thanks for reminding me to remember this is just a small moment, and through experiences like this, we find out what is at the center of our self, and who we really are. 

because bath time is just so much fun

where can I get something to eat?

Winston has discovered a whole a new world since he started eating food. He's always been a healthy eater, but we had no idea how much this kid could pack it away until we started him on food. We are now training him to be a champion eater. The whole process of introducing foods has been assisted greatly by this wonderful cookbook from Williams-Sonoma. 

This darling book was a baby gift from Julia and it just might become my standard baby gift from now on because I love it so much. 

If you have a new babe or know someone who soon will, I highly recommend you check it out. 

tying the knot

This darling engagement will make all of you fall in love (maybe even all over again).

Happy Birthday Dan

My darling husband is having a special day today. Winston and I are so lucky to have him as our one and only. We'll be off celebrating this weekend with family in town. Hope everybody has a wonderful Valentine's day with the ones you love.

*and I owe Kathryn a big thanks for the family photos she took in December. This was such a classic shot of Dan, that I had to share.

This is for a certain grandpa who keeps begging for more pictures. I promise they are coming soon!